In a column for the "Seattle Weekly", former GUNS N' ROSES bassist DUFF MCKAGAN outlined his RULES OF THE ROAD.  The purpose was to help young bands learn to survive life as a touring band.

1.)  "Don't be a [tool].  Yes.  That simple."  (--He actually said the D-word that rhymes with STICK.)

2.)  "Get used to having little to no personal space.  A tour bus or a van . . . can be small enough, but add small backstage dressing rooms [and] rehearsal rooms . . . and you have the condition for someone in your band to blow their top."

3.)  "Personal hygiene.  See #2."

4.)  "Respect off-limits places.  When you draw the curtains to your bunk on the bus, no one should be allowed to [eff] with you.  No punching in the [junk], even.  Each others' girlfriends / wives / husbands / boyfriends are also off-limits."

5.)  "Share everything.  Clothes, chocolate, drugs, whatever.  If it's expendable, it's a 'band' item."

6.)  "Hug it out.  Being in a band is the best place I can think of to be as up-front as possible.  If you let something stew, it'll grow into a mountain of nonsensical black mud in no time."

7.)  "Read books and keep informed.  The conversation can get old if you don't have some good new topics to bring to the table.  Gossip and [jock]-talk only go so far."  (--He didn't actually say "jock".  He said a word that RHYMES with "jock", but starts with a "C".)

8.)  "Keep in touch with 'Mama Kin.'  Definitely phone home and text as much as possible.  It keeps one a bit sane, and leaves one with at least a modicum of a cornerstone."

9.)  "Write a riff.  Keep bringing fresh ideas to your band."

10.)  "Don't poo in the same room that someone else is eating in.  Unless of course said eater gives the 'poo OK.'  If a 'poo OK' is granted, you have a band that will NEVER break up!"